


Scalene

by Bexless



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Glam Rock RPF
Genre: Circle Jerk, Friendship, Glamnation Tour, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-24
Updated: 2011-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:23:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bexless/pseuds/Bexless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac has never seen Velvet Goldmine. Adam and Tommy rectify this, then they all jerk off. I am afraid I must tell you it is exactly as stupid as it sounds. Tommy POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scalene

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know. First fic since June 2010 and it's this rubbish. I'm pretty sure this doesn't fit anywhere in the timeline, and I'm almost positive Isaac has, in fact, seen Velvet Goldmine. OH WELL. Brief mentions of canon relationships.
> 
> Many thanks to Wax Jism and Ciel Vert for beta :D

“I’ve never seen Velvet Goldmine,” Isaac said off-handedly, while they were hanging out in Adam’s dressing room before the show.

Adam stopped pedaling to nowhere on his stupid bike and stared at Isaac. “What,” he said, very quietly. “What.”

“I’ve never-”

“Dude,” said Tommy, shaking his head. “He heard you.”

Isaac looked uncertainly between Adam and Tommy. “I mean, I’d like to! I just...haven’t.”

Adam was still staring, kind of murderously now, although the effect was somewhat spoiled by the sweaty towel around his neck and his skinny legs poking out of the bright orange shorts he was wearing. He was all red in the face. Tommy wasn’t sure if it was the exercise or the outrage.

“Tommy,” he said in the same low, intense tone, “fix this.”

Outrage, then. That made sense. Adam was pretty fit.

“Will do, boss,” said Tommy.

Adam threw a few more daggers from his eyes into Isaac’s forehead, and started pedaling again.

Isaac looked at Tommy. His face was kind of an anxious whirl.

Tommy thumped his knee comfortingly. He said, “I got you, man.”

***

After the show, after they were back at the hotel, after Tommy had messed up his bed sheets and thrown a few shirts on the floor and made love to his shower for a while, he grabbed Isaac and his copy of Velvet Goldmine and took them both up to Adam’s room.

Adam was on the phone when he answered the door, but he beckoned them both in with a jerk of his head. Tommy made a beeline for Adam’s bed, crawling up into the middle and messing his sheets up, too.

Isaac hovered uncertainly in the doorway. Adam said into the phone, “Hang on, baby,” and then to Isaac, “dude.”

“Right!” said Isaac, and shut the door, then scurried over to the bed, climbing up to sit next to Tommy.

“It’s Tommy and Isaac,” Adam said into the phone. He looked up at them. “Sauli says hi.”

“Hi, Sauli,” they chorused together, like little kids. Adam smiled, pleased.

Tommy got the DVD set up and the minibar open while Adam billed and cooed into the phone for a while longer. Isaac still looked like he thought he might get fired at any moment, so Tommy poured a few shots down his throat and told him to relax.

“Seriously, man,” Tommy said. “It’s just Adam.”

Isaac picked at his frayed jeans. “But he looked so mad.”

Tommy waved his hand. “Whatever, he’s probably totally jizzing over getting to pop your Goldmine cherry.”

“But what if I don’t like it?”

“Then you have bigger problems than _Adam_ being mad,” Tommy said sternly.

“I will,” Adam said then. “Okay, sweetheart. Me too. Yeah. Goodnight, gorgeous.”

He hung up, looked at his phone with a goofy expression for a minute, set it down on his nightstand, and rolled heavily onto the bed, winding up with his nose touching Tommy’s. “’lo,” he said happily.

Tommy gave him a peck on the cheek. “Lovebird.”

“I know!” said Adam, and rolled onto his back. He folded his arms behind his head, totally not caring that he elbowed Tommy in the face in the process. “Okay, let’s watch this so I can speak to Isaac again.”

Isaac made a sad noise, and Tommy poked Adam in the side for being a jerk. Adam pinched his hip in retaliation, but then settled, with a glass of whiskey and his bare toes wiggling, way at the other end of the bed.

Isaac didn’t look convinced at the very beginning, when it was all Oscar Wilde from space and blood for lipstick, but as soon as Brian Slade showed up in his skin-tight sparkles and his feathers, Isaac stopped fidgeting and just watched, entranced.

Adam made a pained noise at Christian Bale’s horrible make-up, like always, and Tommy made one at Ewan McGregor’s horrible accent. Adam made an entirely different noise when Curt Wild started in with the shirtless sweaty stage antics.

“God bless you, McGregor,” he sighed while Curt shook his glittery cock at the audience.

Isaac went, “Aww,” at Christian Bale jizzing himself over having a role model, and laughed at the pink hearts in Brian’s eyes, but they all stayed quiet for the kiss, which was as it should be.

Everything went to shit then, so nobody said anything else for a while, although Adam did laugh quietly at ‘space queen on your fucking high horse,’ and Tommy grinned, nudging him.

Then 20th Century Boy started, and Isaac sat up suddenly and went, “Hey!” and pointed at the screen, then at Adam, then to the screen again. Adam cracked up, then Bale started bitching about his eyeliner and that made Tommy crack up too, but the laughter died out soon enough, and by the end of the movie Isaac’s eyes and mouth were downcast.

“You okay, man?” Tommy asked.

“It’s sad!” Isaac said accusingly, hugging his knees. “I didn’t think it was gonna be sad!”

“It’s not so bad,” Adam said. “Nobody dies from gay, at least.”

“But they’re not together!” Isaac protested. “And Brian’s all wrong, with that horrible hair, and Curt’s like, sad, and alone, and missing him, and I thought this was like a thing, like for the show, for you two especially.”

Adam shot Tommy a confused look. “It is.”

“But our show is so _happy_ ,” Isaac said. “Our show is happy.”

“Isaac!” said Adam, and crawled over Tommy to wrap Isaac up in a hug. “Aww, honey. You’re so great. Isn’t he great, Tommy?”

“He’s the best,” said Tommy, and then said, “Oof,” when Adam crawled back over him to get to the rest of his whiskey.

“Sorry,” he said, and patted absently at Tommy’s leg. Except he missed, and ended up stroking Tommy’s crotch instead.

“Sexual harassment alert,” said Tommy.

“Oops,” said Adam. He patted Tommy’s crotch again.

“Dude.”

“I’m apologizing!”

Tommy turned to Isaac. “You’re my witness, okay? Total abuse of power.”

“Enforced movie nights and circle jerks.” Isaac nodded. “It’s a hard-knock life.”

“I’ve never been in a circle jerk,” Adam mused.

“ _What?_ ” said Isaac. “How?”

“I don’t know.” Adam looked a little bashful for a second. “I didn’t have any guy friends in high school, you know?”

“But since then!” said Isaac. “Seriously?”

Adam blinked. “Is it that weird? I just haven’t. Tommy, have you?”

“I’ve been in bands my whole life, babyboy,” said Tommy. “Sometimes the only jerk for miles around is circle-shaped.”

Adam scrunched his face up. “So it’s like a thing. A band thing, and I haven’t done it.”

“You’ve been in a band,” said Isaac.

“With _Monte_ ,” Adam reminded him. “I love the man like a brother, but I don’t think he’s looking for me to whip it out in his presence.”

Isaac scratched his nose. “Does your actual brother look for you to do that?”

Adam gave him the finger.

Tommy laughed and said, “But what about your tours, like with your musicals and stuff?”

Adam shrugged. “Guess it never occurred to any of us we should be organizing group masturbation.”

Isaac was sitting up fully now, staring at Adam with much the same expression Adam had given him earlier that day. “But you must have. You _must_ have. Not even at Burning Man? I just can’t believe you never jerked off with other dudes.”

There was a silence. Adam cleared his throat. He said, “Well, Isaac, I’m not a stranger to that activity, but it wasn’t a circle jerk, it was sex.”

Tommy cracked up immediately, especially at the way Isaac’s hands flew to his face like a scandalized maiden or some shit.

“Oh my God,” said Isaac, and Tommy felt Adam start to shake with giggles next to him. “I am the world’s biggest jerk.”

Adam waved his hand, still laughing. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Wait,” said Tommy, while Isaac moaned into his hands some more. “You had group sex at Burning Man?”

“Not _just_ at Burning Man,” said Adam. “But yeah.”

Tommy made a face. “But the sand.”

“I won’t lie to you, Tommy Joe, sometimes that was a problem.”

Tommy winced. He crossed his legs.

“Yup,” said Adam.

“It’s not fair, though,” Isaac said suddenly, apparently having recovered from his shame spiral. “Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to enjoy a nice friendly spanking session.”

Adam raised his eyebrows. “There’s a sentence I’ve never heard before.”

“I mean it!” said Isaac. “Fuck that, fucking discrimination. It’s like a rite of passage, or something, okay, you have to.”

“I’ll put it on my to-do,” said Adam.

“We should do it now,” said Isaac decisively. “The three of us, right now.”

“Three is a triangle,” said Tommy.

Isaac waved him off. “Whatever, who died and made you King of Geometry?”

Tommy looked over at Adam. “I think we found Isaac’s Velvet Goldmine.”

“Yes!” said Isaac, getting up on his knees. “That’s it exactly! And I watched your stupid sad movie, didn’t I?”

“So now I have to pleasure myself in front of you?” Adam said, raising his voice a little.

“Not in front of me,” said Isaac, rolling his eyes. “We won’t look at each other, jeez.”

“Forgive me,” said Adam dryly. “I’m new at this.”

“Yeah, we should tell him the rules,” Tommy said to Isaac.

Adam made a baffled noise. “You want to do this too?”

Tommy spread his hands out in front of him and shrugged. “Hey, man. I can jerk off anywhere.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“That was _one time_ , okay, and how the fuck was I supposed to know you were going to walk in on me?”

“It was _my house_!”

“Gentlemen!” Isaac interrupted, holding a finger up in the air. “Silence, if you please, for the rules.”

“Wait,” said Adam, “this isn’t going to be like some gross thing where we all jizz on a cookie and then someone has to eat it, right?”

“No,” Isaac said firmly. “And I don’t even want to know where you got that idea.”

“English boarding school porn,” said Tommy. Adam shot him a murderous look. Tommy said, “Password your laptop, then.”

“I have.”

“With something that isn’t ‘password’.”

Adam scowled. “Why would you even be looking at my porn?”

Tommy shrugged. “I was bored.”

Adam turned to Isaac. “So is it like a competition, where the winner is whoever comes first, or last, or whatever? Because I should tell you right now that I’ll win.”

Isaac looked curious. “At being first or last?”

“Either,” said Adam, flashing his smile. “Both.”

“Wow,” said Isaac faintly.

“Speaking of, shouldn’t we have porn for this?” Tommy wondered aloud. “For something to look at.”

“Negative.” Isaac shook his head. “Unless you can think of something to suit all our tastes.”

There was silence for a minute. Then Adam said, “Yeah, no. Oh, but I have an idea!”

He got up and fiddled around with the DVD player for a while, until the movie was paused on the liplock between Curt and Brian. He looked back at Isaac and Tommy, chewing his lip a little. “I mean, I know it’s two dudes, but it’s still pretty to you, right?”

“Fuck yeah,” said Tommy. Isaac hummed his agreement, and Adam smiled and came back to the bed.

“So the rules,” Isaac said determinedly, “are as follows: you don’t look at anyone else, you don’t touch anyone else, and if someone makes a noise you pretend you haven’t heard it. No prizes for coming first, but this isn’t the time to draw it out either, and for Christ’s sake keep your jizz to yourself.”

“This sounds like the least fun ever,” Adam said mournfully.

“It isn’t sex,” Tommy reminded him. He mimicked Isaac’s injured tone from earlier. “It’s a rite of passage.”

“Fuck you,” Isaac said easily. “All right, gentlemen, let’s get this show on the road. Zippers down, dicks out.”

“I love a man who takes charge,” Tommy said, going for his belt.

“I don’t,” said Adam, but he did the same.

It was weird at first – not so much because the others were there, but because Tommy wasn’t turned on. But it wasn’t too much work to get there, really, with the booze in his system and his hand on his dick.

Adam made a ridiculous ‘mm-mm’ noise that sounded suspiciously like ‘hello!’ and Tommy turned his head to see Adam smiling down at his own junk. Tommy snorted, and Adam looked up.

“Whatever, like you don’t think yours is hot.”

“No talking,” Isaac reminded him.

“Tommy looked at me.”

“Adam made a noise!”

“And you didn’t pretend you hadn’t heard it,” said Adam triumphantly.

“You both suck at this,” Isaac informed them, and they all started snickering at once.

Tommy did think his own dick was hot, actually, out of all the dicks in the world it was definitely his favorite. He didn’t feel the need to greet it like Adam, but he gave it an extra-loving squeeze, which made him have to spread his legs a little and tip his head back, getting into it now.

He was pretty zen about masturbation, really, it had been a while since he did it in company but it was kind of nice. There was an extra little thrill of doing something kind of naughty, and hearing other people enjoying themselves had always gotten Tommy off. He liked the sounds and the feeling of the bed shifting slightly with their movements, and the tube of lube looming into view over his face.

“Uh,” said Tommy.

“It’s not like you brought your own, right?” Adam waved the lube impatiently and Tommy took it on reflex. Adam smirked. “Sand-free, I promise.”

Fuck it. Tommy squeezed some into his hand and passed the tube onto Isaac, who did the same, looking bemused.

“This has never happened to me before,” he said, handing the tube back.

Adam winked. “That’s because you’ve never done it with me in the room, baby. I’m a professional.”

Tommy was pretty sure he’d never laughed this much while jerking off before. He was still giggling when he got his hand back on his dick, and let out a shaky sigh at the new wet slide, sweeter and a little less intense.

“Fuck yeah,” said Adam, and the noises on both sides of Tommy were clearer now, slicker and speeding up.

Tommy zoned out, not thinking about anything much, just his hand on his dick, how good it felt. On the little shuffles and sighs he could hear, and the fact that Adam’s lube was seriously nice stuff, way better than whatever Tommy had stashed in his bag, he didn’t even know. He made a mental note to ask Adam what it was called.

It was long enough since Tommy had last jerked off that he was fully hard and ready after not too many minutes, leaking a little, hot and thick in his own hand. He twisted his hand on the downstroke, rubbed his thumb under the head and squeezed gently as he came back up. It felt really fucking good, and the company was nice, too, which Tommy thought was probably weird of him, but there it was. It wasn’t like anyone could see into his head.

He wondered if fancy moves were forbidden by the rules, but a quick sneak peek from under his eyelids confirmed that Adam had one arm up his shirt, playing with his nipples, and Isaac had a hand between his legs, cupped around his balls. So Tommy didn’t feel bad about sliding his free hand up into his hair, pulling a little, arching his back and dragging his fingernails sharply down the side of his throat.

He couldn’t help the moan that escaped, but that was okay, because Adam and Isaac had both taken it as permission to let loose themselves. Adam was kind of holding his breath and then letting it out in harsh, staccato bursts, while Isaac was whimpering like he was going to die. _Fuck it_ , Tommy thought, and moaned some more, because it felt good, and because together they sounded like the noises in really good porn, the kind where you could believe they were there for more than just the money.

Tommy was having a dilemma – he was getting close, and his body wanted him to turn his head sideways, press his face into the pillow. He didn’t want to weird anyone out so he tried to keep facing forward, but in the end he just squeezed his eyes shut and rolled his head back and forth, whatever, the others would just have to deal with it.

He heard Isaac curse under his breath and then whine sharply, and Tommy could _feel_ the tension disappear from his side of the bed. Adam wasn’t far behind, moaning high in his throat like _ah-ah-ah_ and then gasping, blissful, and Tommy’s orgasm hovered out of reach for just one more second before crashing up into him and spreading out through his limbs to his fingers and toes, fuck, fuck, _yeah_.

He opened his eyes to see Adam looking back at him, smiling sweetly. Tommy smiled back. Adam lifted his head to look over at Isaac.

“Happy now?”

“Mnnnnh,” Isaac said.

Adam laughed and went rummaging in the nightstand. He came back with a half-empty pack of wet wipes, pulled a few out and passed the pack to Tommy.

“Apple scented,” Tommy read from the label. He plucked a couple out before passing them on. “Classy.”

Adam chuckled as he cleaned himself up. “Only the best for my boys.”

“I really believe that,” Isaac said. “This is the fanciest circle jerk I’ve ever been to.”

“Aww, baby,” said Adam, buttoning himself back into his jeans. “You say the sweetest things.”

After an appropriate amount of laying-around time, Isaac sat up. “All right. I need to call my wife and tell her I just rubbed one out in my boss’s bed.”

“Do you tell her every time you jerk off?” asked Tommy, curious.

“No,” said Isaac. “But this is a special occasion.”

Tommy turned to Adam. “What about you?”

“Hmm? No.” Adam stretched both arms out over his head. “I don’t think Sauli and I are at Masturbation Reports yet.”

Tommy hummed under his breath. “Well, I don’t have anyone to tell even if I wanted to, so.”

“Aww, sweetie!” Adam rolled over and gathered him into a hug. On Tommy’s other side, Isaac patted his ankle comfortingly. “We can find you someone to tell!”

“You can tell my wife if you like,” Isaac offered.

“You could tell Neil,” Adam suggested. “Let’s all tell Neil! That would be so fun.”

Tommy laughed and fought them both off. “Thanks but no thanks, man, I don’t need your parents to be mad at me for making their baby’s head explode.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” said Adam. “But we’ll do this again when you get a girlfriend, okay? I promise.”

“Promise,” Isaac said solemnly.

Tommy squeezed both of their hands. “You’re good friends.”

Isaac went off to make his phone call, and Tommy helped Adam clean up his room a little. Adam went to get Tommy’s DVD out of the player.

“I bet this never happened to Brian Slade,” he said as he handed it back.

“Lots of things happen to you which never happened to Brian Slade,” said Tommy, and suddenly he needed to hug Adam hard, so he did. “Lots of totally awesome things. And more to come. Lots more.”

“Yeah,” said Adam, hugging Tommy back. They stood there together for a while, until Adam’s phone started ringing.

Adam groaned and went over to pick it up. “Lane,” he said.

“Duty calls, huh?” Tommy gathered up the rest of his things. “Get some sleep, though, rock star.”

“I will,” said Adam, and blew him a kiss before answering the phone. “Hi, Lane. No, it’s okay. What’s up?”

Tommy wiggled his fingers in a wave, and shoved his feet into his shoes. He closed the door carefully behind him when he left.


End file.
